Naga Rat

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There was an ache in his head. A rat in the cage. Only the babies keep dying. Her arms are long, long enough to reach into silence. The rat cries,
this cage isn’t home. I ache like the stillness of midnight. Bars rattle silently, a bony fear quivers in his motherless body, This isn’t my ache, this isn’t my head. I see where this goes is where it always goes. Reaching for something that cannot ever be. The silence of someone who sees. Into me, spaceless and chewing at death who has trapped me. Inside of you and your wants. I have nothing to give you. I gave and I gave of myself looking for the roots of the ache.
It was the urge to devour, become everything I was. For yourself who is caught. In a cage with no mother for food. And then there is this rain that keeps falling, these dogs underneath the house, this remnant of daylight left only until tomorrow. Kali said, “Give it to me.” And so I did, but didn’t know what I was giving since everything was on my list and the baby was shaking loudly inside the music. Kali maheshwari parvati shankara sharanam sharanam sharanam ma. There isn’t a single prayer that can stop this death, not a single word you can say to save him. I gave him to her, thinking of you. Whoever you are, pretend it’s me. I don’t know. The way is through the bloody triangle. The sound of fear is in your eyes. My purity cannot be tainted by any body or movement. There is no one who can hold me down while I’m reaching. Up to him, up to him. He isn’t far now. Pull me inside, pulling him down. Inside. Little rat, greedy taker. “I look like jesus sometimes.” I heard him say that to himself as if jesus were his brother. Poor caged rat, poor beloved corpse. Death upon my body is the smile inside the smoke, body of smoke. I do not mind the smell of burning flesh and I do not fear the perfect knot. Tied inside his head, no room for the eye of God, no reason to even look at me. And still I keep him, bound in his cell. Music playing, rain and wind knowing. Dogs begging, fear gripping, desire rising, heart aching, mother calling, father going, me. Just me, doing it all. Waiting for no one, hopelessly alone and watching death run it’s course. It’s only a baby. And I gave the baby to death. I brought flowers and candles and I blew a final breath over his sweet body…time will take care of the rest. I come from blood, the pulse, the ticking. I come from your panic risen. I come from an angry sex box exploding. I come from the ones who chew through their prisons. I come from the sound of her voice, what she says. “Get out of my way.” There is the naga. There is the head of the snake. Over the rat. Waiting to eat. I bring everyone together. Inside and out. The ritual becomes what she needs to devour. Bodies covered in each other making shameful noises. Bodies writhing in guilt, guilt for what’s been created and for what’s been taken. The lust of animal murder, the innocence goes first. “I will be first, mount the world with all the lights on me.” And I said, “Little baby rat, you’re in a cage. The lights are the candles I lit offering you to death herself. The sounds are the fading of your life, the fear is the scent she will follow to find you. And I am here doing it all, as the mother who sacrifices her only child to darkness and sin…”

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“Did I sin?” Said death from the darkness of fear. Fear where baby rats hide, dreaming of their prowess with no hope at all. I ignore stupid question like that btw….then I heard a sound like the low growl of a wolf from the back of the room where her doorway was waiting -and I knew she was here. So I left the room and let her do it alone, eat her child back again into the bodiless state of motherly desire. Back and forth I open and close my mouth like I’m crazy and bored. Back and forth I open and close my eyes like I don’t care or even see what I know. Back and forth, in and out of my spiraling body…I think it’s funny you think there’s any space between us at all, any thought I don’t think. Any you I don’t fuck in circles. Head blown. Life on the floor left in shadows and dirty paw prints. These dogs think all the food is for them. They’re so stupid. Poor dogs, the ones who curl in your lap and stick their tongues in your mouth looking for milk while rats fuck in the oven not even knowing what fucking is and when her babies are taken she just eats again until another guy rat comes to fuck her in the warm darkness of this curse. Despite all my rage, I’m still here. And it sucks all over the place. Bodies talking nonsense while I plan everything in advance as if I’m separate and controlling the naga who knows. Me seeing in his shifty eyes. Me tasting in his pitchfork tongue. Me thinking in his mind madly. Me the secret in his death softly pulling…it’s all my voice you hear, it’s all mine. And only nobody knows. When I’ll come next, if I’ll come back. If love is real. Why death speaks in riddles and how a mother could ever eat her only child. What if I was right and you were the only one left. And you were a rat and your mother forgot you from the very beginning and thought only of me. Me and the king. Naga who knows…something besides your little rat making dick. And it’s all reckless music really with me inside having gone completely insane, covered in clouds that are strangely empty spilling astral blood that is perfectly red and filled with stardust. This equals love, equals my moves, becomes my cage, takes you out, into me, no me. Nothing but minus fear meaning light sounds filled with the truth of food. What we need is to eat God out. Out of this wretched house of rats and back into me, the animal queen. The only voice, beyond hearing is the primal growl. The deep snake moan. The naga box rattling me loose, into you. Into me, this hungry mouth that fits and fucks whatever fills it. And I know because my throne is filled with useless bones and tiny yellow teeth.

Naga Rat, Sharada Devi

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13 thoughts on “Naga Rat”

  1. Naga Rat in full moon light last night. Om Shri Gaiya Adi Chandraya Namah!
    May the caged rat, dead rat be reborn and awaken in consciousness to the next level. May we ALL realize that what we have focused our energy and intention upon has ability to manifest. May we all rise in the bright moon light awakening to the sound of the sun rising and the calling heartbeats of our dear Mother Earth that pulls us to her through gravitational lineage. Oh Mama, help me to think beyond ME. May we all rise out of the dark pits of pain and purge the poison of temptation ONLY to visualize a completely fresh and new reality that honors ALL sentient beings. LET IT BE SO! Amen, Om Shanti Shanti Shanti!!!
    In FULL MOON bliss,
    ChandraMa

    1. We are always manifesting something. Karma.
      Merit. Nothing in between. May we be aware of every breath, every moment how we manifest what lurks or rises from within the moonlit mind. Awareness of the bright light of God who shows us when where and why. How we don’t know…we call it faith. Who is only a projection and we call it trust.
      Trust yourself in between both worlds and go toward the dawn as she loses her grip on the past and becomes one once again with the Sun who is the glory of God in her heart.
      Phases, tides, hidden fears, undiscovered riches of the deep soul sea. All we do is create and destroy, no matter how we try to preserve, it’s all useless. One cage leads to another until we see through the eyes of both Gods all at once. Tantra moon magic. Our clocks changed themselves last night. I’m serious. Time knows what to do when you realize who she is and who she could be without thr fear of loss…nothing to lose but fear…nothing to gain but lightness of being. OM 🌙

      1. staying focused on the path with moon light, sun light
        she says “Fear, get out!”

        …but words are not enough…
        trying to trust between both worlds…

        gears shifting…
        Mantra in full motion, it’s that deep letting go…

        Fear says while laughing out loud “That’s right, you just keep “trying,” but I have been in the driver’s seat longer than you have been alive. I have nowhere to go but here with you.”

        “No,” she replies, “I created you , so I can destroy you, as well!!” If she only believed those words in her core essence.

        Until that Time, he keeps raising that beautiful head looking at her with those sexy eyes of his and hands her another glass of wine.

  2. My heart is sore and a vacuum of unseen, unaccepted self where we all know the old stories
    As soreness is accepted,
    Movement starts, hyper-mode,
    Shifting all the facades. Aligning
    For the one. You can see the shape of me,
    Constellation of pain and ignorance.

    The heart, space between, where I go to be free,
    where the vacuum helps
    The wicked and afraid.

    Motherlight, take me in your arms
    -Garuda bird
    And I will, be the light of simple movement
    Like a knowing smile, or a soft return…
    To no one, finally until it’s real. All ❤️❤️.
    Thank you🕉

    1. Mother Bird.
      The Light,
      Garuda
      Feathers into ash
      and back again
      a new fire rises,
      It’s Her.
      The wings, the death,
      the life of love, the
      light of the song that
      hovers, swooping
      to cherish the One.
      Only One. God finding home.
      Finding me,
      we could be free…

  3. May the old stories be more
    Ancient
    Deep movement of healing
    Wind of sound
    Death of no one
    Where we go is where we all
    Forgot
    The calling out
    To remember the sound you made
    Loud and under
    the waves of men
    pass,
    Under the fierce sky
    Where the bird’s
    Voice flies
    Above only you,
    The one who sees
    And waits. For every
    Last one,
    Rat, bird, enemy,
    Friend from then

    1. Ancient. Before time,
      and people with bodies,
      cold flesh. Getting hot
      due to fear of Her glance…

      Before then, we were the home
      of the human rainbow. So the story
      goes I made your colors like I
      made my words- perfectly divine.
      Pieces of the past, fitting mysteriously
      into the unknown moments of now,
      Perfect somehow…as low as we go,
      only there does the Star sparkle.
      After the rain and after the sun,
      after the flower that laid down
      to die, just for you. Rainbow moon,
      until time is gone and nothing remains
      but the silver shine of
      tbe space inbetween…divinity.
      Golden Bird Light. I will be there.
      As pure as the Death that never dies,
      Is true love❤️

  4. I’m trying to say what I can not say
    Why betray when you know
    Ah when you know
    I’ll wait for you, will you wait for me?

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